Date #0: The Marathon Date

We've only just begun.

It's called #0 because this date is the one that sparked the idea behind this project.  (Don't tell Devin I called him a project.  Ha ha!).  I got incredibly sick last spring which rendered me a bed-ridden weakling for nearly a month, then we had a friend from Germany visit us for over two weeks.  So between my pathetic Jaba-the-hut-like state and touring the state of Utah, the romantic side of our relationship had been set on the back burner for almost two months.  

I could tell he felt forgotten.

 Seeing my frustration, my best friend suggested this date idea for me.  She is my guru when it comes to taking care of one's husband. (Seriously puts me to shame) I struck a deal with her to do a babysitting trade and the date was on the schedule.  (Obvious date tip: Find friends that you feel comfortable doing a babysitting trade!  You save a ton of money and you may even get to stay out later than normal)

Keep in mind that this date was not a part of my challenge, it merely gave me the idea for it. Also, yes, there is a typical dinner-and-a-movie vibe to it but I promise the execution makes it really fun.  It wasn't cheap, but it was oh so worth it. 

The Marathon Date Plan:

1. Have the kids gone to the sitter's house before he gets home(I had ours gone over night). You save a lot by not renting a hotel and just staying at home with no children waking you up at ungodly hours. 

2. Kiss ;) at home when the sun is still shining with no kids in the house!!! It makes you feel much less like a vampire.   

3. Go to his choice of Restaraunt

4. Go to the hot tub at the rec center

5. Go to Swig.  

6. Go see Captain America.

7. Go back to our home with no children and pick them up in the morning!
  

The Response:

I took the kids to their overnight sitter and Devin got home from work before I did.  He was sitting on the couch when I got there and I sat on the couch next to him with a big goofy grin on my face. I was super excited for him.  We talked for a while.  I kept waiting for him to notice the wondrous silence of no munchkins.  After what seemed like forever he asked where the kidlets were.  

I told him I had planned a night totally and completely dedicated to him because he deserved it.  We could go wherever he wanted for dinner, etc. etc. etc.  The date was his oyster, so to speak...

His initial reaction was shock then pure joy.

He kept saying,"Is this really happening right now?! I Can't believe it!"

He chose Carrabba's for dinner where we shared a margarita pizza and chicken bryan with amatriciana pasta and laughed like giddy school girls. (Don't tell Devin I called him a girl).  Because it was all about him, the whole night seemed to have a different kind of electricity behind it.

I chose a rec center hot tub as spot #2 because he had been training for a marathon and needed to relax.  Going to a pool and hot tub without kids was like that same amazing feeling as...  Oh, I don't even know...  I guess it must be what heaven is like.  It was super relaxing and so fun to people watch and talk to each other without having to save our kids from drowning every 10 seconds.  

Walking to the car, he grabbed my hand and squeezed it with a huge grin.  "I still don't believe it," he said.  

After the movie we went to SWIG up in Lehi.  He told me "I didn't know how much I needed this, but I really needed this."  That made it all super worth it.  

Even the next day he mentioned that he was still riding on the afterglow of our date of epic-ness the night before.  :)

And thus a blog was born!

Date #1 will be happening shortly!

Happy Dating!

  

 

Never stop dating.

Never Stop Dating.

This is what I always write on those "advice" cards they pass around at bridal showers.  In most long term relationships it's easy to get lackadaisical.  We have formed bad habits of lazy dating.   The husband and I are actually pretty exciting people that love to go have adventures, we just have gotten boring and predictable in date-land.  We've turned into dinner-and-a-movie kind of people, which every now and then is great, but there are so many other great and unique things we could do on Date Night.  I feel too many women (including myself) expect the man to be responsible for all things in the dating department and then get disappointed when the poor guy doesn't fulfill some wild imaginary dream date.  Both parties become frustrated.  My husband is actually really awesome at taking care of me,  but I realize that's not very fair.  Why should he have to do all of the work?  So that's what this is. It's time for me to step up my freaking game.

Here I am at 30 years old with three kids, a college degree, and 11 years of "married" status hanging on my belt.  I'm not writing this blog to show how perfect my marriage is.  I'm writing this blog because my marriage ISN'T perfect.  We fight about silly things and not-so-silly things like money, sex, and maybe a little rock and roll.  We have discrepancies about discipline concerning the little munchkins.  What I am trying to say is that we do really awesome most of the time, but it is not always gumdrops and lollipops.  I'm not great at it, but I think it's really important to always shoot for an awesome companionship.  I'm hoping that my posts don't just speak to married couples, but to ANY long term relationship that needs a little dating face lift.

Us in a nutshell.

The first few years after the wedding day were a little rough. Who didn't have an adjustment period, right? If you say your first few years were a dream of fantastic-ness "I will slap you like a bad bad donkey, okay?" (Muppets from Space reference...)  We married very young.  We both were attending college full time and working full time.  My husband missed the chance of a college apartment experience, because he had the luxury of staying at home to save money.  Then he met me and was captivated because I was ridiculously good looking and freaking awesome (ahem).  So he snagged me up early, sacrificing any party time in bachelor-land.  We were also basically the first of our friends to get married, thus our home became the new bachelor pad apartment.  Video games until 2 AM with buddies sounds like a win win situation for both of us, doesn't it?  I can't blame him.  I was crazy because my body didn't like any form of horomonal birth control, I became depressed because I didn't know how to adjust living with another human being, and my self-esteem went down the crap shoot because (I realize now) the main form of self worth I had before marriage was when guys were asking me out or complimenting me.  It was lame, I know, but I'm just being honest.  I didn't know how to be myself anymore or how to act in social situations.  I was basically a hot mess.  With intense schedules, longing for days that would never be, and little miss crazy pants, we were kind of a recipe for not-so-greatness.

We became roommates instead of companions.

Don't get me wrong.  We loved each other so much, and we knew we were in this thing for forever, we just didn't know how to show it to each other.  Over the years, we have grown up together by going through hardships and wonderful-ships and slowly learning the magical powers of open and honest communication. I can't say we have been through it all, but we have definitely been through quite a bit, and I finally feel like I have a little something to say.

So what the heck is this really about?

I am challenging myself to take my husband on a unique date once a month and then blog about my adventures.  Why?  Because I love him, and I want him to always know that he is the best guy for me.  Hopefully readers will be inspired to rekindle the fire in their own dating lives and step up their game as well.  So many marriages are falling apart and I'm not saying this will fix the problems, but maybe it might help a little? Happy dating!

~Heidi