Never stop dating.

Never Stop Dating.

This is what I always write on those "advice" cards they pass around at bridal showers.  In most long term relationships it's easy to get lackadaisical.  We have formed bad habits of lazy dating.   The husband and I are actually pretty exciting people that love to go have adventures, we just have gotten boring and predictable in date-land.  We've turned into dinner-and-a-movie kind of people, which every now and then is great, but there are so many other great and unique things we could do on Date Night.  I feel too many women (including myself) expect the man to be responsible for all things in the dating department and then get disappointed when the poor guy doesn't fulfill some wild imaginary dream date.  Both parties become frustrated.  My husband is actually really awesome at taking care of me,  but I realize that's not very fair.  Why should he have to do all of the work?  So that's what this is. It's time for me to step up my freaking game.

Here I am at 30 years old with three kids, a college degree, and 11 years of "married" status hanging on my belt.  I'm not writing this blog to show how perfect my marriage is.  I'm writing this blog because my marriage ISN'T perfect.  We fight about silly things and not-so-silly things like money, sex, and maybe a little rock and roll.  We have discrepancies about discipline concerning the little munchkins.  What I am trying to say is that we do really awesome most of the time, but it is not always gumdrops and lollipops.  I'm not great at it, but I think it's really important to always shoot for an awesome companionship.  I'm hoping that my posts don't just speak to married couples, but to ANY long term relationship that needs a little dating face lift.

Us in a nutshell.

The first few years after the wedding day were a little rough. Who didn't have an adjustment period, right? If you say your first few years were a dream of fantastic-ness "I will slap you like a bad bad donkey, okay?" (Muppets from Space reference...)  We married very young.  We both were attending college full time and working full time.  My husband missed the chance of a college apartment experience, because he had the luxury of staying at home to save money.  Then he met me and was captivated because I was ridiculously good looking and freaking awesome (ahem).  So he snagged me up early, sacrificing any party time in bachelor-land.  We were also basically the first of our friends to get married, thus our home became the new bachelor pad apartment.  Video games until 2 AM with buddies sounds like a win win situation for both of us, doesn't it?  I can't blame him.  I was crazy because my body didn't like any form of horomonal birth control, I became depressed because I didn't know how to adjust living with another human being, and my self-esteem went down the crap shoot because (I realize now) the main form of self worth I had before marriage was when guys were asking me out or complimenting me.  It was lame, I know, but I'm just being honest.  I didn't know how to be myself anymore or how to act in social situations.  I was basically a hot mess.  With intense schedules, longing for days that would never be, and little miss crazy pants, we were kind of a recipe for not-so-greatness.

We became roommates instead of companions.

Don't get me wrong.  We loved each other so much, and we knew we were in this thing for forever, we just didn't know how to show it to each other.  Over the years, we have grown up together by going through hardships and wonderful-ships and slowly learning the magical powers of open and honest communication. I can't say we have been through it all, but we have definitely been through quite a bit, and I finally feel like I have a little something to say.

So what the heck is this really about?

I am challenging myself to take my husband on a unique date once a month and then blog about my adventures.  Why?  Because I love him, and I want him to always know that he is the best guy for me.  Hopefully readers will be inspired to rekindle the fire in their own dating lives and step up their game as well.  So many marriages are falling apart and I'm not saying this will fix the problems, but maybe it might help a little? Happy dating!

~Heidi